Personal Directive

As we are getting closer to actually donating, I think its time for me to think about a personal directive.
I have 1 appointment with a psychiatrist, then 1 with a doctor to confirm that all my tests are clean and I am good to go, then a final one with a surgeon. And as the lists of appointments dwindles and this goes from being something I have just been talking about doing, to being something I am actually doing, I'm not getting scared, I'm just trying to cover all my bases.

I want to be sure that in the horrible event that something goes wrong, that things are good in my life, the people around me know that I love them, and my affairs are all in order. I know things are going to go well and that all of this is just extra worrying that I dont need to do, but it helps me get in a good head space.

So today I am looking into personal directives and what I want...
The hard thing is I'm not quite sure. I'm really not. I've talked with my husband about a few parts of it, but its hard for him to talk about because he cant stand the thought of me not being there to grow old with. And frankly, I cant really either. But I know that the recepiant is to someone what he is to me, and I know I would want every elligible person on this planet to be donating if he needed an organ.

I did tell a close girlfriend of mine about the donation, and she has said that she will be there to help and take care of me post-op. Having her support meant a lot... She is a close friend and will take super good care of me. And by having that extra support I'm encouraged to think that a personal directive is nothing more than a precautionary measure, and am more okay about writing it.

It just makes me face the facts about my own mortality and being as my life plan was to live forever or die trying, I really dont like that.

I'll keep you posted...