My thoughts are random, and jump rapidly from one area to another.
Despite that randomness, today I have found myself thinking greatly about my kidney donation. I have a meeting with the Surgeon on Thursday, September 24th, and this will be the first meeting my husband will attend with me. The meeting is to discuss my anatomy, and which kidney they would take. I will need to get a blood test done as well as I am still working on getting (and keeping) my iron at a decent level.
From this meeting, the team will then go to a Round Table discussion, and my understanding is this is where the final decision, the go/no-go will be decided.
I'm not nervous about the appointment, I'm nervous about the decision. This is really, truly, something I want to do, and I am scared they will tell me no. I am scared they will say that I am a young woman who hasn't had children yet, and that thank you very much for the offer, but come back after you've had kids. I don't want them to say that. I want to do this, and as much as I know I will do this later if they say no now, I am ready for this now.
I now this is horrible, but I was thinking that maybe they will let me go ahead. I mean, I've had every test in the book. They've spent a lot of time working with me, testing me, evaluating me, making sure I make the grade. To have all those resources go to waste because of my age, and to deny someone a kidney, I think that would be a shame. But then again, that perspective is tainted by my own desire to do this.
The other thing I have been thinking about lately is speaking out. I have been adamant about remaining anonymous, but have started to think that maybe I could advocate for Anonymous Donation, and hopefully encourage more people to enter the program and help save more lives. The only reason, and I must stress this, only reason I would do this is to try and help. There are so many men, women, and children waiting for organs, and kidneys... you can live perfectly fine with just one. So with all the healthy people out there, and all the people that are fighting for their lives, doesn't it make sense to try and match them up? And if I can help with that, should I? Or stick to my original plan which was to donate my kidney, tell as few people as possible, and continue on with my life.
I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog, but if you do, I would really appreciate some feedback. What would you do? Speak up? Or Donate and continue on with life? Why?
