The problem is its Anynomous

Met with the nephrologist today (and by the nephrologist, I mean, her, the "student" doctor (its a teaching hospital after all) and my transplant coordinator. Gotta admit, it was not what I expected.
What I expected was to go there, sit the the Doctor and review my test results and confirm that I am medically fit to donate. Well, let me tell you, this went much different.

When I first got to the hospital, I had to go for a blood test for Tissue Typing. This normally would have been done to check compatibility with the intended recipient. However, since I am not donating to anyone in particular, this was done to determine the ins and outs of my tissue. Goodness do I hate needles.

Back to the meeting with the "Committee." This was more of a discussion of the risks, and did I really understand that this is not a small thing that I'm doing, and that once the kidney is gone, its gone. Yes. Got it.

I'm young. I'm married. I have not had children yet. And yes, we want kids. According to the nephrologist, that makes me her last choice for a donor due to the increased risks. She let me know of her personal bias, and I felt as though she treated me like a silly little girl who didn't know what she was doing and was too naive to know better.


We spent a lot of time talking about the risks, what they were, and how do I feel about them. The entire time I felt as though I needed to defend my decision and like I was being attacked.

Throw in a blood test (to check my iron levels) at the end of this 45minute fiasco and I was ready to leave. My boss and her husband have made it clear how they feel about my decision. They are against it. They think I should wait. And when I got back to the office, they were both there, and of course we went back to the discussion as to "Should I, or Should I Not". I felt attacked. I felt I was getting it from all angles. I know they love me a support me and are just being protective, but it was hard.
I ran into a girlfriend of mine shortly after this discussion, and although she supports me, she would never make the same decision, as there are slightly increased risks during pregnancy.

I was taken aback. I admit, I was confused and conflicted. I mean, if this many people were against the decision, did I need to rethink what I was doing? So when my husband and I were eating dinner we talked openly and honestly about all this, including the risks, and how this may affect us and any children we may have down the road. We are comfortable with the risks, we know that this is a relatively small in my life to potentially give someone back theirs.

The point of this post, more so than a chronicle of what this appointment and the process is like, is that I've figured out why people have an issue with my donation. If I said "my sister is sick and I'm a match" I would be considered selfish and not a good person if I didn't donate to her. If I didn't donate to my sister because of the increased risk to me as compared to the definitive fact that she would die without a kidney, most people would wonder how I could sleep at night. But because I'm doing this anonymously, there's an issue. It doesn't matter that its still some one's child, a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a husband, a wife. Because I do not know them, this is a silly decision.

I get it. I know understand what these people have been telling me, I understand why they don't think I should do it. But now, more so than before, I am determined to go through with this. I believe in what I;m doing, I believe that I should be doing this, and know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.