Saturday, January 29, 2011

Back at Work

8 weeks after my surgery was January 21st, 2011. January 24th I returned to work. I went back full-time, with no provisions or accommodations, but to be fair, I didn't really need any. I wouldn't have minded going back a week early and doing part-time for the first week to sort of ease back into it, but full time worked as well - sort of a jump back in with both feet.

How does it feel to be back? Physically - exhausting. As much as I had a bit of a regular schedule the last little bit (I was going to bed at the same time as my husband who had to work in the morning, thus it was a reasonable hour), I still wasn't getting up before 930ish (or to be fair, functioning before that time). Thus, getting up and being at work at 8am has been a big adjustment.  I have a desk job, so the physical demands of the job aren't high, but I didn't realize the impact of having to sit (without being able to lay down or nap) for hrs until I went back. Monday night, I went to bed almost an hour after I got home, I was that exhausted. Now that its been a week (and it did get easier by the end of the week), I am more used to the early mornings and do have energy at night.

The mental side of it is a whole different story. Mentally, was I ready to go back? I was starting to struggle to fill my days - you would think that the second month when I am able to get up and move and actually do things would be the best, but at the same time, that was also when I realized that everybody I know has a job and can't get together during the day. There was no one to go for coffee with, lunches were on a lunch break and had a set end-time, and everyone had things to do. Everyone except me. I spent a lot of alone time this last month, but I did get out as much as I could. Which meant I drank a lot of coffee. (I would go for walks and I would go too far so I would have to stop for a coffee to recover for a bit, or even just wait for my hubby to get off work and pick me up on his way home.) Mentally, I was used to a lot of time alone, which I hadn't realized I had gotten so used to. It was my schedule, my music, my time. But going back to work meant I had 8hrs a day around other people which was almost as exhausting as the physical side. It was kind of nice being around other people and having a purpose to my day, but re-learning to work on someone elses' schedule and on their task list has been hard.

Of course the other part of returning to work is the fact I've been off for two months, and the world didn't stop while I was gone. Getting back in the loop, caught up of projects and dealing with new hires has not been as easy as I would have liked. To be fair, my company changed structure and my job during this time, so there was a basketful of changes to get used to, including working in my new position.

At work, only my boss knows about my surgery, the other (new) staff only know that I was off for surgical leave for two months. I've told them it was abdominal surgery as that explains a bit without getting into too much detail, but I have discovered that I am rather private about this. I only want people to know who I have a certain level of a relationship - people that I trust. New people in my life, they don't need to know. It is none of their business and maybe if I get to know them better I might tell them, but I don't overly see that happening. My life is my life, and there are some things that are better left private.

My husband has told me that its a bit of an adjustment for him as well (the fact that I'm back at work). I'm not always home when he gets home, which means less time together - which we both miss. My job hours varied this last week as I had a few early morning, earlier than his mornings, and thus we are re-learning how to work within each others schedules. He also commented on my energy level in the evenings. Previously, he was my main source of company/entertainment and I always perked up when he got home. Now, I have been around people (and their music) all day, and I am quieter and seeking alone time at night. That part is very weird for both of us to get used to.

All in all, I am happy to be back. It makes the days go by fast, and it gives me something to do. I love my job and what my company does - working for a non-profit is very rewarding. But, I'm not going to lie, if there had been a way to get an extra week in there, that would have been awesome.

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